Truth and Lies

God has been speaking to me recently about what I believe about Him and about myself.  I have so many blessings in my life, but the one source of contention that has always been difficult for me is my career.  I am an entrepreneur and an attorney.  This path, while an absolute expression of who I am, is often a devastating part of my life experience as well.  The phrase "one step forward, two steps back" comes to mind.  I think one of the reasons it is devastating is that I often look around and just cannot find a resource that tells me what I am experiencing is normal -- few mentors that I would follow or seek advice on, so to speak.  So, I can start to feel crazy sometimes and as if perhaps the "results" I think I am not seeing means that I am not in God's will.  

God has been faithful to speak into my spirit - a good deal in the last week, reminding me of all the whispers, the nuggets, the resources He has shown me over the years, to encourage and strengthen me.  This IS my path - and that the difficulty itself has been preparing me for the endurance, strength and confidence to live this life, to walk the very path before me.

Isaiah 41: 14-16 (MSG)

Do you feel like a lowly worm, Jacob?
   Don't be afraid.
Feel like a fragile insect, Israel?
   I'll help you.
I, God, want to reassure you.
   The God who buys you back, The Holy of Israel.
I'm transforming you from worm to harrow,
   from insect to iron.
As a sharp-toothed harrow you'll smooth out the mountains,
   turn those tough old hills into loamy soil.
You'll open the rough ground to the weather,
   to the blasts of sun and wind and rain.
But you'll be confident and exuberant,
   expansive in The Holy of Israel!

In reminding me of some of these things, I felt prompted to make a list.  A list of "truth" and "lies" if you will - the truth of who I am because of my identity in Christ and the lies that the accuser would have me believe and live from instead.  When I am in "truth" camp, all is right with the world -- I experience myself as ALIVE -- as all of the things in that side of the list.  When I am in "lies" camp, I am anxious, afraid, condemned - death camp.  I wanted to share this and encourage you to do a similar exercise.  At this juncture of my life, I need a constant reminder of the TRUTH so that I can wake up to what I am thinking in any given moment and choose to believe the truth and live from it.  

John 8:31-32 (NLT)

Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings.  And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

Truth                                                                                     Lies

I am GRACE AND GLORY                                                      I am Much-Afraid

I have the spiritual gift of FAITH                                                I fail to be faithful enough/unbelief


I am strong and beautiful                                                         I am weak and undeserving

I am a beloved daughter – I have captivated the King’s heart       I am an orphan

I am a beloved bride – I have captured the Prince’s heart            I am unwanted/a disappointment

I am fought for                                                                        I am on my own

I am provided for                                                                     I have to [work hard to] provide for myself

I have an eternal inheritance, overflowing abundance                  I will always experience lack

I am a pioneer (courageous, new ground, perseverant)               I am a failure (rebel, irresponsible, alone)

I am victorious – a fighter                                                         I am a loser – unequipped to succeed

I find it intriguing (and far beyond coincidence) that the lie is an exact opposite reflection of the truth.  The enemy knows how much easier it is for me to believe the lie and, as we know, he comes to steal, kill and destroy our "life"  (john 10:10).

Standing free in the truth, from the slavery of the lies, and praying the same for you!

Coming Boldly to the Throne of Grace

For a fairly long season now, God has been impressing upon me the need to take care of my health – mainly, through diet and exercise.  I have been clear that this is His prompting, but the enemy and my own wrong-thinking have entered their opinions and judgments about the “how” of implementing these changes and I am having great difficulty in seeing any lasting transformation in these areas.

I “hear” from God and then I immediately set out to make “my plan” for change.  It inevitably fails because I am weak (in my own strength).  Then the enemy is there to confuse and condemn me.  I then “join in,” agreeing with the enemy’s accusations and finding fault with myself – I am weak and unable to obey God.  More condemnation, which leads to more of “my plans” and more failures.  The maddening cycle continues… 

So, I read this amazing verse from Hebrews 4:15-16 (NLT) and I am reminded of what God has to say about all of this:    

This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

In a first reading, I realize that I am latching on to the fact that Jesus faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin.  Well, good for him.  Wish I could say the same for myself!  My problem is lingering just in that part of the scripture – hence the [self-]condemnation.  But reading in context (ah, the importance of context):  He understands our weakness…and we need to come BOLDLY to the throne of our gracious God…were we WILL receive HIS mercy and we WILL find GRACE to help us when we need it most. 

God never tells us to do anything outside of His strength, His provision or without Him.  He is so ready to pour out all of the resources we need, primarily, His Love, His Grace, His Mercy.

What an amazing God. 

So, I am coming boldly to the throne – as one who belongs in front of my precious Lord, who is invited, who can be naked and unashamed in my weakness.  And from whom I can receive the anointing and the ability to do whatever He has for me to do – and walk in victory and in peace!