Letting Go of the Past

God gave me a vision about 18 months ago, that He was placing me on an “ark” of sorts, like He did with Noah in the Book of Genesis.  He was taking me on a journey, washing away the past, bringing me to a fresh start.  The fresh start including, unequivocally, a promised land.  
 

There are many things that God has revealed to me over this year and a half period.  It has been wrought with trials I never expected, periods of waiting and wondering, desperation, hope, joy and healing, and everything else you would imagine.  Waiting on an ark, wondering if you heard God right, if you have finally “lost it,” if He truly is good at His word.

One of the surprising parts of this journey has been how, even when I am focused on a future promise that is manifesting before my eyes in the present, I am still haunted by a past that no longer exists.  That God has literally washed away.  It is aggravating and embarrassing to be sitting here, in this invisible prison, and I am desperate for freedom from it.

I can tell when “the past” is operating in my present.  Here is how it looks.  A new opportunity presents itself (in work, in relationship, with my health and fitness) and my first [fleeting] reaction is joy and my second [more pervasive, lasting] reaction is hesitation and bit of anxiety.  What is up with that?  Well, the answer is clear.  Something “like this” happened in my past and a scar was left.  I am worried that I will do this new thing and it will end badly, like it did “that one time” or several times or however many times “that thing” happened.  Then, a sort of paralysis sets in.  I am reluctant to get started for fear of a repeat of the past.  Philippians 3:12-14 displays the wisdom and prize available when we let go of the past:

Philippians 3:12-14

I think I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. ¹³ No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it,^[d] but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, ¹⁴ I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

When we focus on the past, the cost is that all of our energy, hope, joy and focus on God is stolen.  What this scripture says to do is forget the past, look forward to what lies ahead and press on, FOCUSING ON THE PRIZE for which God, through Christ, IS calling us. 

This is not a complex thing to do, but a simple one.   Not necessarily an easy thing to do - clearly, it is hard or we would be doing it.  But it can be done and it is worth it.  Because it isn't worth staying in prison, when freedom is available - even if it is hard fought.  We are assured that we don't need to do this alone - God’s word assures us that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13).  I, for one, would rather practice and fight to stay focused on the prize that God has for me than continue to be enslaved to a past that does not exist anymore!

Peace and love.