Loss

I just found out this morning on Facebook that my highschool boyfriend committed suicide a couple of nights ago.  I am definitely in shock at this news and the only word that comes to my heart is "loss."

My understanding is that he and his wife were separated in November and he has a 4 year old son.

I cannot imagine that little boy growing up without his father.  And even though I have not had a relationship with this person for over 20 years, I cannot imagine the world without him in it.

He was my first love and I was blessed to have known him.  We shared something that was unique and special and I will never forget him.  He had a winning smile, a good, pure heart and danced to the beat of his own drummer.  He did not care to fit in, he only knew how to be his true self.  And, as a result, he taught me and gave me the courage to be my true self.

I don't know much about what has happened in his life over the last 20 years, but I would like to think that the man I knew back then was who he really was.  The possibility and potential of that person was the "real" him.

I pray that the family he has left behind will run into the arms of Jesus for healing, as that is the only place to truly heal.  To find the hope to keep living, and not just surviving with the wounds of further loss from this tragedy.  And I pray that our Heavenly Father will welcome him home, where he can spend an eternity healed and set free from the pain of this world.