Choose Life

I have been struggling a fair amount in the last month with spiritual warfare.  If you are not a subscriber to the belief that: 1) Satan is real and 2) he hates us and actively pursues and attacks us in an effort to steal, kill and destroy us and our lives (John 10:10), then don't read on, because you won't be pleased with my position on it and I don't desire to argue about it.

If you do subscribe to this position, read on and see if you can get something out of it :)

In my time with God this morning, I repented that I have forgetten that He is bigger than my problems and circumstances, and a result, I have been choosing death instead of life - and that is EXACTLY what the enemy of my soul wants me to do.  The fruit of that has been panic, fear, dread and hopelessness.  Did I mention the sensation of a burning hot coal in my chest?  You get the picture...

Deuteronomy 30:19 says:
This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live
God clearly states in His word here in Deuteronomy that He has set before us [me] life and death, blessings and curses.  Then he goes on to say "Now choose life."  And then there is the "why:" so that you and your children may live.

This is a rich word and one I want to meditate on.  Every day of our lives, we are confronted with life and death and I wonder how often we are aware that we get to choose which way we will have it.  Often, we don't experience that we have a choice.  We experience that we are more reactionaries or victims of circumstance, rather than people that actively choose.  If I am honest with myself, I tend to see myself not as the chooser of life or death, but the chosen of life or death.  If it's a good day, life has chosen me.  If it is a bad day, death has chosen me.

Let me say more about what I mean by life and death, for purposes of this conversation.

I am thinking of choices that we make that, in essence, produce the spiritual fruit of life and death.  "Life" is aliveness.  When I picture myself being alive, I get an image of myself in warm weather, soaking up the sun, smelling green things growing (praise God for spring!).  All of that imagery gives me the sense of peace, joy, well-being.  That is life - that is aliveness.  When I am not experience life this way, I am in the other camp: "death."  With death, there is coldness, aloneness and decay.   

I have been mostly living in "death" camp for the last month with glimmers of "life" here and there.  And the experience has been curse and the fruit has been coldness, aloneness and decay.

So, here is the rub:  how do we choose life when we find ourselves in a difficult situation?  If the situation is difficult, how can we choose life instead of letting death choose us? 

I don't know the answer to this - I don't know if there is AN answer.  What I do know is that I have struggled with being a "performance-based" person most of my life.  So, I am cautious (always) to jump in and fix myself with "doing."  What I know is you have to start with going straight to the throne for help.  I want to live and I want my children (and my children's children) to live.  I want to learn to choose life well, so that I can experience the fruits of the Spirit more often than not (Galatians 5:22 says: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control).  Again, I know that this won't come through my works or my performance.  It will only come through belief that God can make this progress in me.  The fruits of the Spirit are just that - fruits of the SPIRIT. 

Jesus says in John 15:5 that He is the vine and I am the branch and that apart from Him, I can do nothing.

It will be the challenge of my life to keep remembering that and living it out, holding His hand and walking with Him all the way.  But I trust that He can do all things through me.

Peace to you all.