Last year, God gave me a word that He was going to transform me from a people pleaser into a God pleaser. No small task, but if He can make the heavens and the earth and everything in them, He can certainly do that!
This came on the heels of a women's ministry that I was a part of. Long story short, I was one of the speakers at a weekend-long event and it was one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life. God was there, He showed up, blessed me and blessed others. I will never forget it. Literally, the day after the event was complete, He spoke to me: you will be a God-pleaser instead of a people-pleaser. He told me that the people pleaser was my false identity and was producing death in my life and that being a God-pleaser was my true identity and would produce life beyond my wildest dreams.
He was totally right.
Looking back, it is interesting to see how He did that big work (still in progress, of course, but much ground has been taken). He had a two-part strategy: 1) send me ample (difficult, painful) opportunities to practice being a God-pleaser instead of a people-pleaser, and 2) help me to experience and see more and more every day how much He loves me (the "agape" love He talks about in scripture which I have never fully grasped and still don't) and that "experienced" love transforming me, healing me and giving me the courage to put pleasing Him first and above ALL else.
Regarding part 1, I had to walk away from some important business and personal relationships - that was hard. He also had me confront some really dysfunctional patterns in some close, permanent relationships. And God instructed very specifically in each situation to do very different things. It was confusing and I wasn't sure that I was even hearing Him right. Plus, the walking away was painful and I have often mistaken painful as primarily a bad thing. I am learning that there are two types of suffering: good suffering and bad suffering. Bad suffering has you operating in a painful pattern that produces the same unwanted results. Good suffering (like going to the gym, fasting, etc) has you stopping or interrupting a broken pattern to a replace it with a good pattern, and produces a desired result. It only took me 36 years to learn this :)
Regarding part 2, while God was building these atrophied muscles in me (boundary setting muscles, that is), He was simulaneously showing up with His love. At first, I thought I was imagining the butterflies, the rainbows. I thought I imagined that He was wanting to just spend time with me. No agenda, just time spent together. It all felt frivolous and imaginary. Why would God send me these things? Isn't His primary objective to get me "fixed" so I can be a "service robot" for Him? I was suspicious for sure - mostly of myself and my perceptions of what I thought God was saying and doing. He even put a random vine on a tree in front of my house, that has never, ever grown there. And a clear reminder of His word - I am the vine, you are the branches (John 15:5). I am your Sole Provider, I am your Protector, I am Your Vindicator and Redeemer. You are my daughter with whom I am well pleased....and so on, and so on.
He sent me love notes, He sent me spectacular sunrises and sunsets. Too many love notes to count, but I kept and savored them all. He sent me to a group of women that I meet with weekly, who wanted to talk about all of the things He has done and is doing in our lives, who are real, who are seeking after Him with their whole hearts. He lead us to grow closer to Him through all kinds of new ways of seeking Him: through our senses (touch, taste, see, hear, feel), He lead us to some teaching materials about meditative prayer (this is scriptural, by the way) and experiencing Him as REAL. So many other things He did in this last year and continues to do.
I can tell you that I now experience my true identity as God-pleaser (with only traces of people-pleaser yet to be transformed) and that I am experiencing much more life in my life than I did this time last year. God has been faithful. And ALL of the glory goes to Him.
He told me that this year is the year of FUN, peace and joy! And I cannot wait to see what He will do to bring that about. So far, he has been accomplishing this through a combination of discipline (obeying Him in some specific areas, namely money and health) AND play/celebration. But, stay tuned because it's only February...
May you be blessed by the knowledge of how wide, high and deep God's love truly is for you today.
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